Patriarchy has long been criticized for oppressing women, limiting their autonomy, and confining them to dependency. Yet, in today’s market-driven societies, this same system has begun to victimize men, creating a cycle of harm that affects everyone. This is a reality often ignored—a system where the ideals of dominance and control harm both genders in different, yet equally devastating, ways.
Atul Subhash’s story exemplifies this crisis. A 34-year-old tech professional from Bengaluru, Subhash was an expert in Artificial Intelligence with a promising future. But beneath his professional achievements, he carried an unbearable weight. His tragic and meticulously planned suicide revealed the crushing pressures he faced, pressures born from societal expectations and systemic flaws. Leaving behind a 24-page note and a 90-minute video, Subhash exposed the relentless burden of fulfilling patriarchal roles and the emotional isolation that came with it.
Patriarchy imposes on men the expectation of being providers, protectors, and the unshakable pillars of society. This role, often glorified, comes at a steep cost. Men’s worth is tied to their financial success, and they are pushed to prioritize societal expectations over personal well-being. Women, meanwhile, are often denied economic independence, further reinforcing the expectation that men must bear the sole responsibility of financial stability. Subhash’s case reflects how these interconnected dynamics can lead to tragic outcomes, not because of individual shortcomings, but due to an oppressive system that refuses to evolve.
Data from the National Crime Records Bureau shows that over 1.64 lakh people died by suicide in India in 2021, with men accounting for more than 70% of these cases. The primary causes cited were family problems and marriage-related issues, highlighting the disproportionate impact of patriarchal expectations on men. While financial distress is a common factor, it is the societal demand to embody outdated ideals of strength and responsibility that pushes many men to their breaking point.
Modern market-driven societies exacerbate these issues by commodifying relationships and human worth. Men are judged by their earning potential and material contributions, while emotional and psychological needs are overlooked. The pressure to succeed professionally while fulfilling traditional roles creates an impossible standard. Men find themselves trapped in a cycle where failure to meet these expectations results in alienation, both within their families and society at large. Legal and social frameworks often add to this burden, as men navigating marital disputes or financial crises are met with stigma and judgment rather than support.
Some argue for the creation of laws that specifically protect men in such situations, but history shows that legal measures alone cannot address the deeper issues at play. Safeguards like those against the misuse of Section 498A already exist, yet the crisis persists. This suggests that the root cause lies not in inadequate laws but in the patriarchal structures that perpetuate these problems.
To address this crisis, society must move beyond superficial solutions. The first step is to challenge the rigid gender roles that define men as providers and women as dependents.
Economic empowerment for women can help reduce the financial pressures on men, while educational reforms can promote values of mutual respect and shared responsibilities. Mental health must also be prioritized, with safe spaces for men to express vulnerability without fear of judgment.
Patriarchy, while offering certain privileges to men, ultimately confines them within narrow definitions of masculinity, depriving them of emotional freedom and balance. Atul Subhash’s story is a somber reminder of the toll this system takes on men and the urgent need for change. The solution is not to create laws that favor one gender over another but to dismantle the patriarchal structures that harm both men and women.
This is not about blaming individuals or any specific gender but about recognizing the outdated societal norms that perpetuate cycles of harm. By promoting a culture of equality, empathy, and collaboration, society can build a future free from the oppressive weight of patriarchy. Recognizing its impact on men as well as women is the first step toward creating a world where no one has to suffer under its burden.
